Girivihar Comp!

Okay im back from India, relatively safe and sound.
Kena food poisoning, but i guess things could have been worse so im grateful nothing else happened to anybody. Went with korkor adriel, ryan yeo, nevin, asyraf sapri and lynnette! I got first for the ladies cat and adriel won first for the second time in a row and lyn got second!

The comp was great, met many new people, made a lot of friends and got to know somewhat about indian culture, although my stomach hates the word indian food. No racism intended. The comp crowd was awesome. People cheering for you like mad even though they dont know you. hahaha. its awesome. If there's a chance i would like to come back. Overseas comps are so different.
But india time is really rubber time hahaha.

Kinda sad no medal for winning but i won 300sgd approx, plus a pair of pontas 2 climbing shoes. Not sure if i would like to use it though. Shall see how it goes. Cant cover the cost of comp, but then again its not like i can buy the experience with money. But next time, we should definitely extend our stay and try climbing in their gyms and outdoors. =)

I really do love climbing. The psyche and kick it gives me- priceless.

I've decided not to pursue certain avenues. hahaha. just to be content with where i am as friends. I think anymore and either i will go crazy or he will make me crazy or he'll just ignore me, which is worse. im just content now.

After going to india and climbing hard, i realized that altho i crave for companionship, it shd be done at the right time and with the right person. i dont want to hurt myself or him. i did miss him when i was in india, but not seeing him helps to curb my feelings. its weird. i dont really understand.
Maybe im just tired of trying to chase, please or be the nice person becos he doesnt uhm reciprocate at all. its like he doesnt even reply my messages or i shant push if thats the message he wants to send me. he's always sending me mixed messages. but its ok. i will take it as nothing.

To focus on my other stuff okay? I shd probably turn les. LOL.

Okay, time to focus on my homework! then after this hell week.
its one month of school holiday.. of cos i still gotta work, but it aint gonna be that bad.

Crushing

Sigh. I just want to be left alone. I've gotten used to my cycle of training, working, coaching etc. It makes me happy and fulfilled. I got alot more freedom and happiness.

But now he's saying he wants to come climb and uhm if I dont wanna see him, I am to quit climbing lol. Ill want to climb with my besties, but if he comes in its a diff pic. How? Dilemma 101.

I was satisfied with my life. Till he came and threatened me. Sigh I hate him so much. Cannot leave me alone ah.

I wonder how things will turn out. Sure damn awkward. And unhappy. And I know I'll purposely be more touchy. Haha. Oh wells. But with him around, there goes my chances of getting a new bf. Haha. Who wants the girl when her ex is stil hanging around?

And I really do think I like someone. It's weird liking someone again. But it's hard. Cos of my ex. Hahaha. He feels like im in a untouchable zone becos he won't take someone else's gf. But im no longer attached. Guess it doesn't matter to him cos my ex keeps on texting him. He's giving me weird mixed signals. Idk man. Havent felt this in a damn long time. But he's a very dense person. But I know how I feel haha. Why else would I dream of him. And uhm think of him when im on the train etc.

Nothing for now. Learn to live again. I know he wont accept. Time.
Anyway how to not let my ex ruin my life? Haha. When most of them are on his side helping him. I want to climb with him, but if my ex comes along idk how it'll go.

Sucks.

Climb spizza gathering

Had an awesome Monday with my cavemen buddies (Kenneth, Danial, Kah yong), rapist gwen, blur king weitheng and koucai. Met up at safra to climb and have dinner tgt. Ended up we all overnight tgt at safra and climbed.

Kenneth treated us pizza dinner cos he won some award and wanted to celebrate. Haha. Awesome job ken! It was a fun experience. We played +3 then damn epic. Got damn far moves and dynos within. Haha. Awesomeness max.

Most of them died by 3am. Gwen and me climbed till 6am tgt. Haha. He didn't even want to stay over in the first place! Then he was like damn siao on haha. Then we did like so called v1 routes haha and there were several height biased routes. Amazed he didnt tire out. Everyone else did. Haha. I was ok uh, pretty used to pulling all nighters. Haha.

Went back slept for a few hours then went for coaching. Now otw to safra to meet the gang for dinner. :-) gang= ky, Trent and valerie. Shukri has camp this whole week so will only see him during the weekend.

My thigh still hurts tho. Cant lift it up much. And putting it down hurts more than lifting it up. Haha. The side aches alot. Recover soon ok my dear leg. I love you. <3

Gravical 2014

And thus marks the end of my hellish weekend of practically zero sleep, school assignments, AVventura and Gravical 2014.

Got 6th for finals. Haha. Kinda disappointed in myself actually. Guess I felt like I lost out to myself on beta. I topped the first two routes albeit quite a few attempts. But if I had topped the last route I would have gotten 3rd haha. My brain was playing tricks on me. I couldnt think Clearly. I fell off the start like 3 tines hahaha. And I really should have smeared the wall to go for my next tile after getting the bonus. I kept trying to step the damn far foothold and couldnt jump from there. Sighhhh. Mistakes that I'll never forget. If I had topped the route I would have gotten 3rd. Sigh it all comes down to that one moment. Just one lapse.

Worse still I pulled my right thigh muscle. Felt the tightness and pull before the comp and I guess I didnt feel anything during the comp; adrenaline rush. After the comp, when I finally sat down. The pain came crashing back to me. Sharp pain, numbness then inability to use control or raise my leg.

Onsite medics sprayed salonpas spray on me then this smu lady, Janelle, helped me to massage the affected area. She was very nice to me. Appreciated her help. And alot of pple were kinda concerned about me quite touched. Haha.

Weitheng even got his friend to send me back and Trent became my walking stick. Supported me to walk around. Haha and he tried to piggyback me to the toilet. It was so epic and I felt like I nearly died. He squatted all the way down to pick me up then lost balance. I fell over him and almost uhm hit the ground, luckily carol grabbed my arm. Then when I dismounted, he did the same, lost his balance and toppled over, onto me and my injured leg. Oh God. That was so painful. I know he was trying to help la, but after he toppled over he just kept laughing.

We had dinner at ichiban sushi tgt.
Ky, trent, shukri, haziq, carol, weitheng and his friend and me ate tgr. Actually still got liling, guoan, Kenneth and another one of their friends but they went ahead to eat cos they were hungry and we were still deciding haha. Happy to know that they bothered to come down support uh haha.

On the bright side, I won their space race. Not too shabby prize although I would have rather gotten a beanbag than a fingerboard. Quite a few other vouchers, petzl backbag and a drybag. Haha.

Anyway, no time for regrets now because I have to recover, heal my injury and train hard for the India comp. Having paid $500+ for it, I wouldn't just want to give it up even tho im injured. Haha. Shall climb abit here and there to let it recover but maintain. I think I need to train more. I feel so lacking in sth. Sigh.

Feeling kinda low actually, cos I have been podiuming last year, but this first comp of the year didnt go too well. Also lack of sleep all these are but excuses. I gotta push thru and pick myself up thru these moments. :-)

To better, stronger times.

Homework

Busy day busy life. Hahaha. I just want to work and climb all day. Oh man I really hate doing assignments... Damnit. I gotta buck up.

Too many weird issues to tackle lately, not much help there. Schedule and money issues to worry about. Just tendered from safra. Starting on my climbing coaching job. Insurance matters to tackle.

Just abit burnt out. Slept 12 hours stil feel like crap. And end up never get any hw done.

Tml gonna climb then got some BBQ for climbers after 6pm. I do like having the weekends to climb and meet friends as opposed to when I was attached and had no time nor freedom.

Okok I really gotta focus on my homework. Im like ord and holiday mood. So not helping man.

Had class today. My classmates are quite ok uh. Not bad pple to hang out with.

Sleepsoon. Training tml. 2 comps in jan. 7 assignments due...

Friendship

It's hard to maintain friendship with everyone sia. One side dont like the other side etc.

Then got pple come and complain that I ignore and treat him as invisible. Wtf. So now I have to keep trying to pacify him. Aw man ure old enough to be able to not need me do this for u right. Ure being downright childish and creating more problems and anguish for me.

Sigh. Too many to handle.
Shall just take to climbing.

Went for supper with nick. Felt better altho we didn't talk about any issues. Im just happy to have him in my life as a constant friend.

Have to handle break up, ex problem friend problem school problem. Wtf la. Im so tired and sian.

I just want to climb and be happy.

Anyway, awesome climbing session with the gang and yess ksmd! My shifu. Hahaha. Havent climbed with him in awhile. He never ceases to amaze and inspire me. :-)

Girls nights out

Today was awesome. Went out.with val and liling to Ikea. Had alot of fun with them. I love them to bits. Liling gave me my first xmas card for the year. Actually usually no one gives me anything except my bf last time. I dont even get to ask any of my friends out becos out of habit caused by him. And he hogs all of them. Sucks.

Common friends

It's hard when we have alot of common friends. Becos he'll influence and hog all of them till u have nothing left. It sucks. But I gotta be strong. I still have my girls and cat.