Crushing

Sigh. I just want to be left alone. I've gotten used to my cycle of training, working, coaching etc. It makes me happy and fulfilled. I got alot more freedom and happiness.

But now he's saying he wants to come climb and uhm if I dont wanna see him, I am to quit climbing lol. Ill want to climb with my besties, but if he comes in its a diff pic. How? Dilemma 101.

I was satisfied with my life. Till he came and threatened me. Sigh I hate him so much. Cannot leave me alone ah.

I wonder how things will turn out. Sure damn awkward. And unhappy. And I know I'll purposely be more touchy. Haha. Oh wells. But with him around, there goes my chances of getting a new bf. Haha. Who wants the girl when her ex is stil hanging around?

And I really do think I like someone. It's weird liking someone again. But it's hard. Cos of my ex. Hahaha. He feels like im in a untouchable zone becos he won't take someone else's gf. But im no longer attached. Guess it doesn't matter to him cos my ex keeps on texting him. He's giving me weird mixed signals. Idk man. Havent felt this in a damn long time. But he's a very dense person. But I know how I feel haha. Why else would I dream of him. And uhm think of him when im on the train etc.

Nothing for now. Learn to live again. I know he wont accept. Time.
Anyway how to not let my ex ruin my life? Haha. When most of them are on his side helping him. I want to climb with him, but if my ex comes along idk how it'll go.

Sucks.

New year!

Ushered in the new year with shuk, Trent and ky. Started off with going udders to see shuk's udders girl but end up no hot girl. Haha. Had some dinner then wanted to go countdown. Horrible traffic at marina bay area. Eventually settled on going east coast park.

Shuk was so excited to try out prawning. We did and korkor Trent was an expert. Wiggly earthworms. Haha. Even ky got infected and had fun. We only caught 9 prawns, and some were super small but it was fun. I caught 3! Uhm and two were pregnant lol.

Bbq-ed them then ate. And had a horrible tummyache when I got back at 4am. And this morning when I woke up.

Nonetheless it was an awesome and fun experience. I love these guys to pieces. Altho we quarrelled abit about my ex becos ky said a mindless remark but that's also becos I asked him a sensitive question. We made up nonetheless but im still pissed and irritated at my ex abt how he tells everyone else abt us, accuses and insults me about everything. Really cannot tahan. He even talked to trent who he barely knows and my boss aizan wtf.

I cannot tahan such irresponsible actions and how he flames me,with his friends. Like how I purposely do things to spite which I dont and honestly? I dont give a damn. But I didnt do it.

I really just want him away and out of my life so he will stop hurting and insulting me.

I really feel damn happy and free since we broke up. I dont want to hate him and will try to be friends with him but if he keeps doing such things I'll end up avoiding and hating him.

Moodspoiler. Caged up much.